Week 32 of 2013: entry 2

Wedding in a couple days.  It's not my wedding.  Why do I feel so much emotion, stress, tension.  I feel a need to be supported, but I don't know what for.  And I'm stressed that I don't have the proper support.  That I will experience emotions that are difficult to handle over the next few days and won't be able to find what I need to feel better.  I don't want to have a miserable experience.  I wish I could feel that Dan is on the same page as me.  Or anyone.  Everyone seems so busy with their own stuff.  And I'm having a 'what about me?' moment.  And I don't know how to get that addressed.

I hate what Dan is going to wear.  Now that the children are coming, I think he's going to be preoccupied with the idea of making this a vacation destination.  But, it's not a vacation.  It's entirely different.  And I resent combining a vacation with the wedding.  And when he's not preoccupied with kids, he will be preoccupied with work like he is now.  And I want someone to be preoccupied with me and my overfill of emotions.  

Blah.  I think I'll take a nap.